Twist of Fate
by TheTowersSang
Summary: What happens when a horrific experience forces a member of the BAU to face up to their true feelings? EMILY/JJ. Rape,Explicit sex.
1. Chapter 1

**My first attempt at Criminal Minds stuff. Warnings for graphic rape and in further chapters, explicit sex.  
**

** If i get a good response from this then ill get the chapters up as i write them but if not i may try to get a few chapters ahead so there may be gaps between uploads. For that reason if you want to read more, PLEASE REVIEW. Seriously, it does motivate! **

**Other than that, enjoy!**

Pairing:- Emily/JJ

The black SUV rounded the corner at speed, almost on 2 wheels yet perfectly controlled.

'Next turning on the right' JJ said to Emily while holding on to the inside of the car to keep herself stable. JJ was riding shotgun while directing the brunette to the address that they had just received from Garcia, racing there as quick as they could knowing that the rest of the team would arrive after them and they didn't have long left if their predictions were anything to go by. Both JJ and Emily had got really involved in this case, more than usual and had personalised it more than they probably should, after talking to the missing teenagers parents. Marie, a polite, intelligent individual was the 6th teenage girl to be abducted in the space of 2 weeks, with there being of the disappearances in the last 2 days. They could tell that the un sub was becoming less controlled with less of a time gap in-between the kidnap and the murder. The bodies of the first 5 teenagers had all been found abandoned by roadsides, the last one of them less than 12 hours after going missing, so both women knew the importance of getting to un sub's house as quick as possible.

'There. The house on the right. Em, pull over there' JJ indicated to a spot just slightly out of view of the house in question as to not alert the un sub, this could be their only chance to get him. They knew so little about this un sub that is was a mixture of luck and a lot of brain work by Garcia, or the oracle as she called herself, to even link him to this address. The SUV came to a sudden stop and Emily instantly went to check for her gun in her holster belt, withdrawing it so she was prepared, as ever, for whatever outcome could happen. The house was secluded and Emily could see why he had chose this particular one, it was along a street as to not draw attention however it was far enough away from the other houses that he would have plenty of privacy for whatever he wanted to do. Emily went to get out of the car but was stopped momentarily by a hand on her wrist, and she looked up to find JJ looking at her with concerned eyes.

'Em, shouldn't we wait for back up? We don't know what he is capable of' She tried quickly to convince her friend of what the rest of the team would say, even though herself all she wanted to do was go in there and find Marie.

'Jen, they will be right behind us but we can't afford to waste a second. Just think of what could be going on in there' She knew she shouldn't be pleading like that, she knew in her head that she should wait for back up but her heart was pulling her inside. Before JJ could pose another argument, Emily was out of the car and walking over the front garden of the place, gun by her side in her hand ready for anything.

'If we are doing this, shouldn't one of us take the back?' JJ questioned. She wasn't usually the voice of authority in situations like this but with Emily acting like she was, she felt the need to be.

'Yeh I suppose, I'll take the front, start to clear the house and the others will be here any second anyway. You head round the back. Don't enter the building, just make sure that he doesn't try to get away.' Emily pulled herself together to think logically, as logically as she could with the want to just get in the house and save the girl. JJ started to walk away from her and towards the edge of the house. She didn't like splitting up, not after what happened to Spence, but she couldn't see any other way at the moment. Anything could be happening to that girl inside the house and she knew that herself and Emily weren't going to just stand by and wait while they could do something. She heard Emily break down the front door and knew she had started scanning the house. She got to the corner of the house and edge round, she could see the corner to the back of the house coming up and she raised her arm and levelled her gun, prepared for anything as usual. She jumped around the corner, quickly scanning the area and the trees that marked the edge of his land, noticing a track running out into them. There was a 4x4 parked behind the house but no one visible inside, however as she had learnt many times before, it was better to check. She rounded the car and came to the driver's side door, noting that there was no one inside and the keys were nowhere to be seen. However with her back turned to the trees, she didn't see the figure approaching her from behind. She went to look back over the car and to the back door of the house when she heard a stick snap behind her and a heavy footstep fall but before she had time to turn round with her gun raised, everything went black.

Emily was making her way through the house, as she had with many others and had managed to cover the downstairs rooms when she heard the rest of the team turn up. When they joined her in the house, she explained the situation and as she was just about to head upstairs she heard the familiar sound of a car engine starting out the back of the building. Fear raced straight through every part of her body as she bolted from her place on the stairs to the back door, hoping to every god that she wasn't too late. She reached the door to just see a 4x4 moving out of the clearing at the back of the house and through the trees with no sign of JJ anywhere. She tried shooting the tires, anything to stop that car moving further away from her but as soon as the truck reached the cover of the trees it was impossible. Then it was gone, into the distance and Emily could do nothing but stare, completely numb. She knew in her heart that she had gone but she still shouted out JJ's name in the hope that she was around somewhere. She could feel the eyes of the other profilers on her back as she slowly broke down onto the floor. She heard Hotch tell Reid and Morgan to continue checking the house, even though everyone knew they wouldn't find who they really wanted then she felt the figure moving closer behind her until a reassuring hand was placed on her shoulder which she shrugged off instantly.

'What have I done?' She whispered to herself, holding her head in her hands while fresh tears ran down her face. She refused to look up to Hotch, after a few minutes Reid and Morgan had called over that they had found Marie in the basement. From what Emily could tell, although she wasn't really paying attention at that moment, an ambulance had been called and she was very beaten and barely conscious yet she was still alive. It was one thing that Emily could be thankful for, however it didn't help lift her heart even one tiny bit. She had lost her, the woman who had followed her even though they both know they shouldn't have. She finally looked up at Hotch and saw his pained expression, him looking down at the tear marks running all down her face.

'It's my fault Hotch, It's my fault she's gone'

Hotch, Rossi and Emily arrived back to the police station and walked straight into the room that had been assigned to them, Morgan and Reid were still looking around the house for anything that could give them a clue as to where he could have taken JJ and although Emily had at first refused to go back to the station, she was eventually convinced that she would be much more help there. Hotch left after a couple of minutes, the rest of the team assumed it was to update the detective in charge of the case what had happened, where as Emily couldn't stop looking at the board, she knew that there was something that they were missing. She started looking through Jason Lewis, the un sub's file. He was 36, single, unemployed, the list of menial things was endless. She didn't want to but she knew she had to look at the victims again; the clue could be there to where they would find JJ. All of the victims were around 17-25, female, however there weren't a lot of other similarities which made them think that the attacks were more random than specific or planned. They profiled that he may have suffered a loss or rejection from a female figure in his life recently but now looking back over this Emily saw it from a slightly different perspective.

'What if the person that rejected him wasn't a girlfriend or a partner? Think about it, what if it was his mother? What do we know about Jason Lewis's family?' Emily mumbled out quickly before addressing his last question to both Rossi and Hotch. In a matter of seconds they had Garcia on the phone and had tracked down his parents after a lot of digging, finding out that at the age of 23 his mother had abandoned him, when he was 6 and he had been in and out of care through the whole of his childhood. Garcia was working on trying to find out a last address for his mother as they figured that would be their only link to him now but it was proving more difficult than usual as she appeared to have gone out of her way to not be found before she passed away. Emily just hoped that they found something and quick, she couldn't bear to think of the consequences if not.

JJ stirred to the feeling of being manhandled and a throbbing pain in her forehead which stopped her from even opening her eyes, still with no clue as to what was going on around her. She tried to move even slightly to figure out her surroundings but she quickly found that her hands were bound above her head and was unable to move them. Then the fear started to creep back into her as she remembered what had happened and who she was now faced with as she opened her eyes. She felt colder than she should have, then looking down to realise that her shirt was ripped away from her body, leaving her just in her bra and trousers. Just as she looked up towards him, her head was instantly spun to the side as she was struck hard in the face and her whole body recoiled from the man hovering above her.

'Oh I'm going to have some fun with you. And there's nothing that your stupid little friends can do about it' He growled as JJ felt his hands moving down to unbutton her trousers and pull them down her long legs. She thrashed her legs around, hoping that she could do anything to stop him until a cold blade was pressed against her neck.

'I'd stop fighting if I was you, you pretty little thing. You will last longer that way' She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her feel physically sick but she did as she said and stilled her movements. She had seen his victims and she knew what he was capable of, she didn't need to push him anymore. She felt him slowly peel down her pants until she was just lying there on a surface, she didn't know what it was, with just her bra on. He leant down and stole a kiss from her as she tried her hardest to pull away, earning her another smack across her face. She knew she had made him angry but what she didn't expect to feel next was him pushing himself into her hard, tearing a cry from JJ's mouth from the pain it caused her. He quickly built himself up into a rhythm, tearing jagged screams from JJ as all she could feel was pain and him grunting over the top of her. JJ tried her hardest to think of anything else but him, here, she just tried to put her mind somewhere else. She found her mind trailing quickly back to the brunette that she left back at the house and all she could manage to think to herself was that she was glad it was her and not Emily, the woman she cared for more than anything. She felt him still slightly and loose his rhythm above her and she knew exactly what that meant as a single tear ran from her eye and down her cheek. After a minute, he pulled out and stepped away from her, the knife leaving her neck where she could already feel a trickle of blood rolling down.

'I might have to keep you for a little longer, you are good' He almost teased as he walked away out of sight to the back of the building as JJ sobbed to herself praying that her team were on the way to save her.

Back at the station, Emily felt her phone ring in her pocket and instantly reached down to answer it and put it on speaker.

'Garcia, you are on speaker, please tell me you have something?'

'I do. His mother never owned a house but I found that she did visit a cabin a lot of the time, and even before she gave him away. Its unused and derelict now. I'm sending the address to your phones now, please go and save my girl' Garcia pleaded, the phone already off the table and the agents making their way out to the car.

'I will Garcia, I promise' and with that Emily quickly slapped the phone down.

They were there before they knew it; it had only been mere miles up the road, and the team all spilled out of the two cars, guns in hand. They all moved slowly until they heard a scream emanate from the building, all of them knowing who the voice belonged to, and before they had chance to co ordinate, Emily was running at speed towards the building before reaching the door and tearing it open. All of the cases that she had been on and all of the images that she had seen didn't even prepare her for the sight when she entered the room. JJ was tied down to a bench, beaten, bruised and bleeding, with the unsub thrusting into her, grunting the whole time. Emily was about to charge at the animal before she noticed the knife pressed to JJ's neck and the pleading look in her half lidded eyes.

'Jason Lewis, Put your hands on your head and step away. I am not afraid to shoot'

'And I will slice her throat open. Your choice.'

'Lewis, you aren't getting out of here a free man. Get the fuck away from her or I will shoot you' The language dropping from her mouth even shocking her. She felt the presence of the other agents around her spreading out in the room but no one was doing anything, they were just standing here watching JJ get abused. He had stilled his movements and pulled out of her leaving JJ sobbing but he still held the knife to her throat. Hotch spoke from the other side of the room.

'If you move that knife even a millimetre then I will put a bullet straight through your head. Believe me, that is a promise.'

Although just as Hotch finished speaking, Lewis moved the blade further into JJ's neck and it was too much for Emily to take. She took the shot and Lewis fell to the floor in front of her. She instantly lifted her eyes to JJ's and saw something she never thought she would see from the blond again, love. But Emily couldn't hold her gaze, she just looked straight down. The rest of the team were gathering around JJ, wrapping her in their clothing to keep her warm as they saw her fall just out of consciousness.

The ambulance appeared just seconds later and they rushed her into the back, the paramedic offered that someone could ride with her and Emily didn't want anything more than to take that place but she just couldn't bring herself too. She had done this and she didn't deserve to be anywhere near the blonde. Reid rode with her instead, she knew that he cared for her like she deserved and she would be in good hands as she quickly retreated to the second of the cars and took to the driver's seat. She knew she should have asked if anyone else was coming with her but she didn't, she needed space, she needed time to think properly.

She just drove, she didn't know where too, just kept driving until she found herself parked outside a bar that she remembered with a smile then quickly wiped off her face. She walked inside and straight to the bar ordering a pint of whatever beer the barman recommended, she really couldn't care less at this moment. She sat at the bar lost in her own thoughts until she felt someone standing un naturally close alongside her and when she looked up to make a comment, she was met with the face that knows more about her than anyone.

'I knew I would find you here' Morgan said, taking a seat next to her at the bar.

'Emily, she needs you' He suddenly turned from normal Morgan to serious, taking in the brunette's features.

'No she doesn't, she needs people who look after her. That is not me' The brunette retorted, not looking up from her beer once.

'Prentiss, I know remember. She needs you as much as you need her, trust me. She doesn't blame you for anything, if anything she is thankful' Morgan trailed off at the end of the sentence when the brunette's fiery eyes met his.

'Thankful?' She almost spat, the anger rising in her throat. 'Because of me, because I didn't listen to her, she was kidnapped and attacked and raped. She does not feel thankful'

'Emily, you need to speak to her, then you will understand. You both need to talk, properly and privately' Morgan was usually the joker of the bunch but when it came down to the feelings of his 2 best friends, he was anything but laughing. 'I'll take you now. Things need to be said Emily and you drowning your sorrows in your beer isn't helping your friend. She has been through a horrific experience and she needs you, whether you realise it or not'. With that, Morgan stood swiftly up from his seat and started to usher Emily to the door and then in turn to the car.


	2. Chapter 2

First of all I want to thank everyone for their support of this story! I was so shocked! I only write because I enjoy it really but to hear that other people are enjoying it too is a really good feeling. Alsoo, all of the faves, alerts and reviews have pushed me to write quicker, honestly that really does work with me aha. Knowing that other people are interested really makes me want to live up to that and make a good story. In case you wondered, I handwrite everything first so the typing up is the thing that takes the time!

If you have any ideas on directions for this then feel free to review or drop me a message, I really appreciate people's ideas as I have some ideas for the next couple of chapters but after that I want to see how you all want it to go

Many thanks again! And I hope you all enjoy the update!

ALSO as you may have noticed, some of my grammar etc is pretty bad so if anyone would like to help with that would be really appreciated!

Pairing:- EMILY/JJ

Rating:- M

While on the car drive over silence fell in the car, Emily refusing to look towards her 'wingman', instead opting to look straight out of the window. When they left the bar, the brunette had still felt slightly tipsy from drinking her whole pint in less than 2 minutes however, as soon as she had got into the car and now especially as they were turning into the hospital car park, she instantly felt her body sober up. What was she doing here? JJ didn't want to see her, not really. As the car pulled to a halt she instantly turned to Derek.

'Take me home. Now. I shouldn't be here' she almost pleaded, yet she knew that he wasn't going to. 'Derek, she doesn't want to see me'

'Em, you know as well as I do that she does and I can see in your eyes that you want to see her too' He knew her really too well, almost too well for her liking. He was the person that she told everything too, and even the things that she didn't tell him, he managed to figure out easy enough. The only problem with having profilers as friends, no secrets. He was the only person who know how she felt, the battle that was raging inside of her. Emily knew from a young age that she was gay, finding herself thinking about other girls when her friends were comparing the other boys in their year at school, whenever she did manage to make some friends. But being the Ambassador's daughter brought its own problems and complications. She had tried to block out the times when her dad had hit her to try to beat being gay out of her, or to simply punish her for being ridiculous. Her hand went to trace over her left wrist, the scar that still remained there from when he broke it. What they told people had been caused by her falling down the stairs. Following that she had done everything possible to egnore her sexuality, having boyfriends to cover up and feeling repulsed when they touched her. Screwing her eyes shut when they fucked her, because that is all it was, it was never making love. Derek knew everything about her apart from her relationship with her father, for which she was thankful. It was her past and she was determined to keep buried. But just lately she was having trouble fighting the hidden side of herself.

Without realising, Derek had managed to get her out of the car and was now walking right alongside her towards the place where she was most scared of being right now. They reached the door to the room minutes later, noticing Reid coming down the corridor on the left, coffee in hand.

'Hey, how's she holding up, Genius?' Derek teased Reid but both of the other profilers could sense the worry lining his voice.

'Yeh, she's ok considering. She has been in and out of consciousness a lot but she's stabilised now, she's just resting. But as to how she feels, you know I'm not great at that kinda stuff' He looked down almost ashamed.

'Don't worry kid, I don't think many guys are' Morgan voiced with a chuckle. Glancing over at Prentiss, he nudged her shoulder slightly and gave her the hint to go in, which she followed reluctantly and cautiously.

Once she was through the door and pressed it closed she instantly wanted to run, get away from the poor girl who her actions had hurt so bad. She looked down at the body laid on the hospital, asleep, and felt tears start to prick at her eyes. She was covered in cuts and bruises, some much deeper and visibly a lot worse than the rest, bandages covering some of her upper arms and strips covering the ones on her face. Her right wrist was in a support and she was hooked up to so many machines that Emily couldn't even understand. Noticing JJ stiring, she instantly moved back as deep blue eyes fell on her and her mouth went dry as she tried to formulate the words she needed.

'Hey' was all she managed to mumble out, not being able to lift her eyes at first to meet the blondes at first until she heard her reply.

'Em' The blonde croaked and Emily winced slightly from the look she saw in the blonde's eyes, a look of so much love and worry, and the slight smile gracing her lips.

'How can you even look at me like that?' Emily jumped straight in, startling JJ slightly with her question.

'Em, I don't know what you mean?' JJ looked completely confused.

'How can you look at me like you are pleased to see me? How can you even look at me at all?' She saw the words hit JJ as she winced but she carried on regardless. 'I am the reason you are in here. I am the reason that that animal got you. I am the reason that you were hurt by him' Emily was getting carried away now but she just couldn't seem to stop. Whether it was still a slight buzz of alcohol in her system or pure panic but she couldn't stop these feelings that were threatening to take over her.

'Please don't say that Em' JJ pleaded, she hated her friend blaming herself for something completely beyond her control. It broke her heart to hear her say these things.

'But it's true! Can you not see that? You could have died and it was because of me! And then you tell Morgan that you are thankful! I mean what the hell do you mean by that? I don't th-' But she was broke off mid rant by JJ shouting back at her, so different from her usual composed self, shocking Emily slightly.

'I was thankful that it was me there and not you!' Tears started pouring from her eyes but Emily could see the fire that was burning behind them. But JJ wasn't stopping there, this had to be said and it had to be said now.

'Every second of the time that I was with him, the thing that kept me holding on was the thought that it was me there and not you and that you were safe. Everytime he came back to me, I just thought about that and everything seemed better. I wouldn't have coped if it was you instead of me. If I had lost you then I wouldn't have wanted to cope. And don't you dare say that I shouldn't want you here or shouldn't want to see you or whatever because you were the first person that I looked for when I woke up but you weren't here. I needed you. I still need you' her voice had dropped down to almost a whisper with that last comment, now in floods of tears with Emily hanging on her every word. Stood at the other side of the room still, she was left speechless. What does she say to that? How does she even start to reply to that? But then she felt one of her own tears start to trace down the side of her cheek.

'I'm so sorry' She wept, moving closer to the bed, taking JJ's bandaged hand in her own and holding it tight. 'I'm so so sorry' she didn't know what else she was supposed to say, she had been the cause of so much pain for the blonde, even after they found her and saved her. Emily looked up into those eyes like oceans and knew this was her chance. She hadn't let her walls down for anyone like this in her life and she could no longer compartmentalize her feelings anymore, not now. And she didn't want to have to anymore. Whether JJ refused to ever talk to her again or some kind of miracle happened, she owed the blonde the truth. She drew in a deep breath and readied herself for what was about to happen. This was one of those turning points in life that had the ability to change everything for good or bad.

'When I saw that monster, that animal, drive away with you in the back of his car, I thought I had lost you before I had even had the chance to have you' She saw the slightly confused look on the blondes face but carried on anyway, if she stopped now then she would lose her bottle and she couldn't do that, not when she had got this far.

'Every second of the time that you were gone, I couldn't stop thinking of you. Half the time it felt like I couldn't breathe. I would have more than happily given myself over to him if it meant that you would have been safe. I would have given my life quite happily for you. I still would. Then I saw you, I saw what my actions had caused you' Emily had raised her hand to silence JJ before she even had chance to interject.

'Please Jen, I need to say this now. I've already left it way too long and because of that I nearly lost you. And I can't let that happen again. I am so sorry I left you, I just couldn't bear to the be the cause of any more pain for you. I have never cared for anyone as much as i care for you before in my life and it scares me, honestly, but I can't let that stop me anymore. If you can be as strong as to go through that, then I should be strong too. I would do anything, be anything for you Jennifer. I…' She stumbled on her words as they caught in her throat but she took a deep breath and looked up into the deep blue eyes for the first time since she had started speaking.

'I love you Jennifer' and she instantly looked down again after seeing shock cross the blonde's face. She started fiddling with her hands and picking her nails before she felt a hand cup under her chin to lift it so their eyes connected, seeing tears yet again gathering in the corners. She was about so say something, anything to break the silence, before JJ placed a finger over her lips to silence her.

'You are so silly, you know that? How long?' Her eyes questioned as a smile pulled at the corner of her mouth.

'Erm.. well kind of not long after I met you' Still looking into those deep oceans she didn't see the shock or disgust that she was expecting at the admission, but the complete opposite.

'All the time we have wasted' JJ murmured to herself as she lifted her fingers to pull a piece of hair out of Emily's face and behind her ear. A thought suddenly came into her head, pressing to be asked. 'Em, I never even knew you were… well.. gay'

Emily chuckled slightly, while subconsciously starting to trace her wrist again.

'Yeh, well I suppose I hide it quite well' The hand that was previously under her chin was now placed delicately on the side of her face, the thumb tracing her cheek.

'Emily, I meant everything that I said before. I would do anything to look after you, put myself through torture to spare you. You are the thing that kept me going when all my body wanted to do was give up. You are my strength and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you and I lost you out of my life. I should have said this a long time ago, such a long long time, but I was so scared. Scared of losing you completely. But now I'm not anymore. Emily Prentiss, I love you'

For a second it was like the world stopped still to Emily, everything just stopped. Had she just heard JJ right? The words that she had been waiting and hoping to hear for years? The blonde saw the shock run through the other woman and she couldn't help but smile slightly at the dumbfounded expression on the brunette's face. This was it. They had finally got here.

'Em, honey, please say something. Anyone would have thought you have gone into a coma' She chuckled, their eyes finally joining, Emily's clouded in confusion and brimming with tears. In all the years that she had known Emily, the times that she had seen her cry could be counted on one hand but here she was, brought to the edge of tears.

'B-But, you are straight. I've seen the guys, hell I've been jealous of the guys! I know when I said what I said I hoped that you weren't but you are!' She looked lost and JJ found it so cute.

'Firstly, I always did wander why you never liked any of my boyfriends' Giving Emily a slight wink making her blush. 'Secondly, you can talk! I didn't know you were gay until about 5 minutes ago. I've always known that I'm not just straight but I've never felt anything like this for a woman before. I've never felt this for anyone before. Only you, from the moment I laid eyes on you'

Emily leant slowly forward, not being able to help herself any longer. She pressed their lips together, not in passion but in love, and she felt her body react instantly. JJ's soft lips under hers felt like heaven, moving naturally like this was always meant to be. They finally broke apart for the need for oxygen but still leant their foreheads together, refusing to move away from each other, both smiling like the cat that got the cream.

'Hello' JJ chuckled.

'Hello yourself' Emily replied, feeling like they were only just meeting. 'And seriously, wow' She smirked.

'Tell me about it' JJ sighed with a smile curling up the side of her mouth.

A second later, a doctor burst through the doors, seeing that he had obviously intruded on a private moment but not seeming to care one bit, started assessing JJ's injuries. Emily could tell that the blonde didn't feel comfortable at his touch and she instantly jumped to her defence and stared the doctor down.

'Ok, everything seems to be ok apart from the injuries that we have talked about but just as a precaution I want to keep you in overnight, just in case of concussion, ok?' He got a slight nod from JJ before writing in her file and then leaving abruptly.

'Stay with me?' JJ's voice almost pleaded as she looked up into Emily's eyes.

'Always' she replied as JJ moved along the bed slightly to allow her to lie down next to her. Emily watched as the woman next to her lowered her head to lean it on her shoulder and fell into a deep sleep within minutes. 'Always' she whispered again to herself as she put her head back falling into her own sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again thank you all for the faves, alerts and reviews. I'm sorry I've not been able to update or answer reviews over the last few days, I've been away from internet, please forgive me! I'll try to make it up to you all with this chapter though!

Pairing: Emily/JJ

Rating: M

Emily stirred, opening her eyes slightly and finding herself blinded by the bright white lights on the ceiling above her. She closed her eyes again hoping to fall back into the most perfect dream she had had for as long as she could remember. The amount of times she had dreamt of telling JJ how she feels and it being reciprocated were endless however this time it seemed so much more vivid. With that thought, she instantly felt her heart drop. Something so perfect could never be real surely? She tried to move slightly, finding a weight leaning against her side. She was so confused for a second before she managed to open her eyes against the blinding light and see the angelic figure lying next to her. Her heart instantly started dancing against her chest and the biggest smile lit up her face. It had happened. The one thing she had wished for every moment since she joined the BAU. She couldn't help her smile, she never wanted to let this feeling go, ever. She pressed a soft kiss to the top of the blonde's head, breathing in her scent slightly and finding herself completely intoxicated. She lingered for a moment longer, determined to drink up every single feeling she was having at that moment.

After a few minutes, Emily decided she needed her morning coffee and smiled slightly, remembering it was the drink of choice for the beautiful blonde beneath her. She pulled herself away from underneath JJ's body, careful to not wake the sleeping beauty. As she got to the door she turned back to look at the woman she had left in the bed and could help but smile to herself.

'You are one lucky woman, Prentiss' She whispered to herself before leaving the room as quietly as possible.

Once outside she took a glance around not seeing anyone she knew, until she turned and looked down the corridor towards the coffee machine and saw 'the chocolate god' looking straight at her, smirking. God how she hated that smirk. She walked down towards the coffee machine in the calmest way possible, acting as thought nothing had happened, although from that smirk she knew she could never fool him.

'Morning' He sung at her, smirking the whole time. Morgan loved teasing people, especially the people he loved.

'Morning' Emily acted as chilled out as she could, even with the sparks still running through her veins. 'You been here all night?'

'Nah, just got in. I would have offered you a lift however I noticed you had got yourself quite comfortable' He wiggled his eyebrows slightly, nearly causing Emily to choke on the sip of coffee she had just taken from her freshly made cup. After spluttering for a couple of seconds, she managed to compose herself once again and look him in the eye.

'What do you know?' She questioned him, eying him up.

'Not a lot. Me and Reid started to hear shouting so I made an excuse and we made ourselves scarce. I came back a bit later to check everything was ok, that you hadn't ripped each other to shreads and found you both lying there asleep. Between the shouting and the sleeping, something good must have happened, so spill.' She wiggled his eyebrows again, causing the brunette to roll her eyes.

'We just.. well… talked. It's all ok' She blushed slightly, something she regretted instantly. It was like waving a red sheet in front of a bull.

'I take it that things all went to plan, I'm happy for you, baby girl, however you are the worst liar. I'll let you off the hook but don't think Garcia will do you the same honour when she gets hold of this.' He smirked but she could tell that he was sincere in what he was saying. He had been trying to convince Emily to go for this for a long time; little did Emily know that he had a very good idea of how JJ felt. Emily always seemed to miss the lingering touches and the longing glances and he knew exactly why, it was completely understandable with her. She didn't want to build herself up for something that, in her mind, was completely unattainable.

'Thank you Derek, really. I couldn't have done this without you.' She completely meant it. Without him she would be nowhere near to getting her happy ending.

'Just look after her. She needs you now more than ever' Emily simply nodded, noting the worry in her colleague's voice. JJ was like a little sister to him and he would do anything to protect her, like he would with any of the rest of the team, but she was always seen as the more fragile member while everyone else was storming property and kicking down doors. The brunette turned around, coffee in hand, and walked back down the corridor towards JJ's room, stopping just outside to make sure she looked strong and composed for the woman that was behind the doors. As she walked in though, she was completely caught off guard at the sight before her. The blonde had tears making rivers down the sides of her face and she looked completely broken. They made eye contact as Emily rushed over to her bed side and put her hand on the side of JJ's face to wipe away some of the tears.

'I thought you had left me' The broken woman sobbed, her voice cracking with every word. 'I thought you didn't mean it. I thought I had lost you.' And with that she completely broke down into Emily's arms, gripping around her to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. Emily simply cradled the blonde in her arms and whispered into her hair.

'I would never leave you, I'm so sorry you thought that. I meant every last word that I said. I'll always be her for you, for as long as you want me' She heard the answer back instantly, carried on a whisper.

'Forever'

They sat like that for a number of minutes until JJ's breathing had calmed and the tears had stopped falling from her eyes. As the blonde leaned back, Emily couldn't help but look straight into her eyes and smile. Even with cuts and bruises and tear swollen eyes, JJ was still the most beautiful sight that she had ever seen and she doubted that she would ever get used to it. She still couldn't believe that someone like JJ would even look twice at her, let alone love her.

'How you feeling today?' She said barely above a whisper, there was no need for anything more, it was just the two of them.

'Better now' she smiled, 'how about you?'

'I'm great' She beamed, she just couldn't keep check of her emotions anymore, not that she needed to. They simply sat and stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Emily was just about to say something, her mouth wavering open, when the doctor pushed through the door.

'Sorry to interrupt, I've just got to do the last couple of checks and then you should be free to go Miss Jareau' A reassuring smile gracing his face, a very different reception to the previous day. Emily looked over to JJ and then went to move out of the room before a hand closed around her wrist making her heart thump and her stop in her tracks. She looked around and was met with pleading ocean blue eyes.

'Please stay' Emily couldn't do anything but nod slightly at the blondes request and move back to her previous position at the head of the bed.

The doctor continued with the physical exam, Emily blushing slightly when the doctor lifted up JJ's gown to check the injuries on her stomach. She felt the blood from the whole of her body rush to her face and when JJ caught her looking, she instantly shifted her gaze to look down at her feet. Not before noticing the smirk that rose to the blonde's face though.

When the doctor had finished his physical exam, he moved to the end of the bed picking up and starting to fill in JJ's chart. Suddenly his previously sunny expression turned into something much more, something almost melancholic.

'Miss Jareau, I think I need to talk to you, privately' He looked over at Emily giving her a small sympathetic smile. Once again though, JJ's hand closed, this time around Emily's hand, and held her next to her thought this time it was not her that JJ spoke to, it was the doctor.

'Its ok doctor. Anything that you need to say, you can say in front of Emily' She squeezed Emily's hand slightly as she saw the questioning gaze glaze over her eyes however she also saw the happiness underneath.

'Ok' The doctor shifted uncomfortably before sighing. 'I don't know how to tell you this miss Jareau, but your tests came back and they show positive for preganancy'

JJ had always known it was a possibility but she had managed to put that to the back of her mind and deal with things as they came, but now she found it pushing its way back to the front. She looked up to the brunette to find her eyes wide with shock and her mouth slightly open. JJ was numb, she didn't know what to do or what to say other than to thank the doctor just before he left. The room carried on in silence for what seemed for an eternity before Emily decided to speak.

'I'm so sorry Jayj' She looked over at the woman she loved, sat there for the second time this morning with rivers carving paths down the sides of her face. 'I don't know what to say. Is there anything that you want me to do?' As she said that, she saw barriers start to build behind JJ's eyes, the fire leaving them empty and clouded. She had gone into business mode, the way she coped with the press, the way she coped with everything that scared her.

'Well I need to make a doctor's appointment' She looked up at Emily and she could see the tears forming in the blondes eyes even through the barriers that she had placed up.

'JJ, talk to me love. What are you thinking? What are you going to do?' She figured that treating her in business mode too would be the best approach, obviously this was JJ's way of coping at the moment and she wasn't going to be the one to make her break down at this moment, even thought she knew the blonde would have to face it sooner or later.

'You don't honestly think I could keep it do you? No I need to make an appointment now.' Her voice was like stone, showing no emotion but Emily could tell that she was holding back the flood gates.

'Are you sure about this, Jayj? You sure you don't want to have a think?' But she was pulled from her trail of thought by the blonde turning to her with eyes firing daggers.

'Don't question me about what I want' she snapped at Emily before turning back away with tears in her eyes.

'I'm sorry. Would you like me to leave for a bit?' She immediately saw JJ's face soften and the expression run back into her features.

'No I'm sorry Em' but she was broke off before she could say anything else.

'You never have to say sorry about anything like that. I'll just go and find your doctor so you can talk to him about making an appointment if that is what you want' She made a slight smile before leaving the room to find the doctor from earlier.

After finding JJ's doctor and informing him of her wish to see him, Emily found herself sitting in the waiting area, alone, feeling completely lost. It was the first time that she had actually stopped and thought since everything had happened. Her mind was so full of thoughts that she couldn't even think of one thing at a time, it all just merged into one big jumbled feeling. She saw Morgan start to walk down the corridor towards her with a concerned look plastered over his face. He got to her and sat on the seat immediately next to her.

'What's wrong Em? What's going on? Any other time you would be fighting to be in there with her, yet you are sat out here' His brow was furrowed and his features looked laced with worry. They knew that JJ was safe now, but they still all worried terribly. They knew how Reid was affected after he was taken and the last thing they ever wanted was for another of their team to have to cope with that. Even more so with what she had gone through, they knew it would be so hard for her to get back on her feet and they wanted to be there every step of the way.

'The doctor is in with her now. They are talking through the options. She's-' Her voice broke, she closed her eyes and managed to compose herself as best as she could. 'Derek, she's pregnant' She looked up to see the horror in her colleagues face. 'You can't tell anyone, please. I just don't know what to do, I don't know what to say. She's getting rid of it, she already seems decided but I'm just scared that she is bottling everything up'

'Emily, you can hardly talk about bottling things up. You never let anyone in. This is just her way of coping at the moment, we both know that she will have to face it at some point but she will have to do that in her own time, on her own terms. You just need to be by her side when she needs you. And she will, she always has.' He placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder before standing up and walking off down the corridor. Emily sat there for another moment in silence before she felt a hand on her shoulder bringing her abruptly out of her thoughts.

'Sorry to startle you, Miss Prentiss. Miss Jareau asked to see you' With that he walked off back down the corridor. With that, Emily quickly brushed the tear that had just fallen down her cheek away and composed herself. JJ needed her to be strong for her and that was exactly what she was going to be. She walked slowly over to the door and went straight in, meeting her eyes with the blue oceans across the room from her.

'Are you ok? What did the doctor say?' She wanted to know what had been decided. She needed to know.

'I've got an appointment this afternoon. He fitted me in as soon as he could considering the circumstances.' She mumbled, taking her eyes away from Emily and looking down at her hands playing in her lap.

'Would you like me to come with you?' Emily said barely above a whisper, afraid of breaking the woman in front of her with her words again.

'Please. I can't do it on my own' She started sobbing slightly, the first time since they heard the news that she had seen JJ's real emotion coming through.

'Baby, you never have to do anything on your own again. All you have to do is say and I will be there for you. I promise' She moved over and took the woman she loved in her arms, trying her hardest to protect her from anything that could cause her hurt.

'I love you, Emily' JJ whispered into the brunette's chest. Regardless of everything that was going on around them, in that moment things couldn't have felt more perfect. This is where she was supposed to be, where she had always meant to be. She pulled back after a few moments, figuring that she could finally get out of the hospital and she knew exactly where she wanted to go.

'Emily, can we leave now? I really don't want to be here anymore' She looked up into the big brown orbs that were filled with love.

'Of cause baby, I'll get your clothes. I think Morgan brought in your go bag' She had started walking around the room trying to locate the bag when JJ's voice broke through the rustling that she was making.

'Emily' She looked nervous, something Emily didn't like one bit. 'Could I, maybe, stay at your place for a few days?' She looked down, obviously embarrassed from asking when a chuckle was pulled from Emily's mouth.

'Baby, you really think I was just going to take you back to your place and leave you? I'm right here next to you and I will be for as long as you need me. And never feel nervous to ask to come around mine, I feel honoured that you would want to' JJ always knew that Emily was brought up in a high class background, always had manners drilled into her but it had never been as apparent as right now. She was so respectful, a real lady, not that JJ didn't already think so. The way Emily spoke to her made her feel so special, like a princess, like she was worth the world. When Emily looked to her again with the go bag in her hand, she was so happy to see the smile lighting up JJ's features. She couldn't stop herself looking straight back her, stopping dead. She loved this woman more than she would ever be able to convey.

'I've got your clothes, want to me to step out while you get changed?' She blushed slightly.

'Don't be silly. Not like you haven't seen it before, we've shared a room on loads of cases' She giggled just a little bit as she went to start undressing. Emily instantly turned around, trying to give JJ some privacy.

'That's true, but its different now. I'll just wait here' She heard JJ sigh slightly before a rustling and in what seemed like just a minute, she felt a body press up against her back and arms weave around her waist.

'I'm done' The blonde whispered into her ear causing a shiver to run through her body. 'Lets go' and with that the body moved away and Emily felt cold envelop her as JJ moved to the door, her hand grasping the brunette's as she walked past. Emily couldn't help but smile as she followed the beauty in front of her, out of the door and towards whatever the future held for the both of them. But no matter what she was determined to be there for JJ.


	4. Chapter 4

It really has been so long since I updated so sorry but stuffs happened and as ever life gets in the way. Anyway, I have a small idea of what is going to happen in the next chapter but I could do with some more help so any suggestions are appreciated.

Also I apologise, this is quite a bit shorter than the other chapters that I have posted but I figured that it was better than nothing!

ALSO, series finale of season 7. I am not happy lol Season 8 will never be as good as the rest.

Once again I do not own any part of criminal minds. Although I wish I did.

Pairing: Emily/JJ

Rating: M

The drive home seemed to take forever, however neither of the women really minded. They sat there in comfortable silence, both engrossed in their own thoughts. JJ's head felt like a minefield and Emily's wasn't much better, both thinking the same things, both to scared to have the convocation. They finally pulled up to the drive of Emily's house, glad to finally be away from the hospital and back to somewhere that felt like home. Emily exited the car abruptly, moving around to open the passenger side door to help the blonde out. After grabbing JJ's bag from the back of the car, she followed closely behind JJ as they walked towards the door, ready to be her support if she needed her. When they faced the door, Emily reached around JJ to put the key in the lock, brushing slightly against the blondes arm, smirking when she saw the shiver run through her body. Once inside Emily flicked the lights for the living room on and moved to put JJ's bag on a nearby chair.

'Make yourself comfortable. Would you like a drink?' She moved over to the kitchen around the corner, JJ looked around noting that it looked like a women's version of a bachelor pad. Everything was so modern and sleek but as much as she hated to admit it, it didn't look like a home for anyone. There were no personal photos around and the place seemed void of all feeling, JJ knew Emily was good at compartmentalizing but she didn't realise she was this good. She thought that there must be somewhere where she didn't have to be so controlled but this defiantly wasn't it. It was a minute later before she realised the brunette was looking at her waiting for an answer with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen plastered across her face.

'Yes please, what are you having? Glass of wine?' She asked hopefully. They both knew that she wasn't supposed to drink but after what she had been through, she really felt like a drink. It would help her nerves in this situation too. 'Come on Em, please? One glass isn't going to hurt'. Emily nodded slightly, she knew she shouldn't but she just couldn't deny those beautiful blue eyes anything. She moved over to the wine cabinet, JJ following her into the kitchen. After pouring the two glasses, the two women moved over to the sofa in the middle of the living room, they couldn't help but just look at each other and smile.

'You are so beautiful Jennifer, you know that?' Emily reached up and placed a loose piece of hair behind the other woman's ear. In that moment she felt more connected to JJ than she ever had to anyone before and she wanted the blonde to know that. After taking JJ's glass out of her hand and placing them both on the coffee table, she reached over and lead the younger woman's face towards hers.

They seemed to linger in that space for hours before Emily finally closed the gap and claimed the lips that had lingered in her thoughts for as long as she could remember. The kiss started off slow, both tentative, but quickly became more heated. Emily felt like she was flying, she had never felt that good before, JJ did something to her that no one had ever come close to before. She ran her tongue along the blonde's bottom lip asking for entrance and she was instantly granted it, using her tongue to stroke the other woman's and extract some of the most beautiful noises she had ever heard. They kissed like this for what felt like forever, Emily feeling like a horny teenager again, unable to stop herself. Every movement seemed so perfect and it just made her wonder why she hadn't taken the leap all that time ago, she could have been doing this for ages. She vowed in that second to never take JJ for granted, she would treasure her, every bit of her. Emily started leaning JJ back so they ended up lying down on the sofa, Emily hovering over the blonde. They were still kissing yet Emily couldn't stop herself pouring all of the passion she had into it, pushing JJ back down into the sofa. Emily was completely lost in her feeling until she realised that the blonde had gone completely rigid underneath her and when she opened her eyes to take in the expression of the woman underneath her she was shocked at what she saw. JJ's eyes were screwed tight shut with tears running out of the corners and down the side of her face and her shoulders were tensed along with the rest of her body. The brunette abruptly pulled herself up off Jennifer's body and placed her hand on the side of her face.

'Jennifer, it's only me. Baby open your eyes. I'm so sorry' She didn't think she could feel any more guilty until she saw the normally sparkling eyes open filled with fear and she heard the words that broke her heart.

'I'm so sorry Emily' Instantly she jumped into action and held the younger woman close to her while she wept, whispering apologies and love. After a few minutes the sobbing stopped and Emily pulled back to look into the empty eyes before her.

'Jennifer, look at me' After a second the blonde turned to return her gaze. 'I am so sorry. I should never have pushed you. I should know more than anyone what you are feeling and I didn't even think. Please forgive me. I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again'.

'It isn't your fault Em, you weren't supposed to know. I just couldn't stop it, the images started coming back. Him… In that place… I just couldn't…' She trailed off, no longer to construct a coherent thought.

'But I should have known. More than anyone I should have known. Because I've…' She paused. She had never told anyone this before but she knew it was only fair, she needed to be honest with JJ. She took a deep breath and continued. 'Because I've been where you are now. I have been you. I've been raped' She whispered the last bit and looked down instantly, not able to meet the look of the blonde.

'What?' She could hear the disbelief in the voice and she knew she had to be completely honest.

'Cyrus. The compound' She heard the blonde gasp and she winced away. She hated being seen as weak but she knew that JJ needed her right now, she needed proof that she could get through this.

'Oh, Em. Why did you never say something?' JJ reached over and placed her hand over the brunette's.

'Because that's what I do. I compartmentalize. Lock things away. But I should have known better than to push you. I'm so sorry Jennifer, I will do anything to make it up to you'. She was ashamed. She had known exactly how JJ would feel in that moment but she had forgotten and let herself get carried away.

'But we were listening. How did we not know?' The tears started flowing down JJ's face once again. She wept for her own trauma but also for the pain the woman beside her had gone through with no one to look after her.

'He took me to another room. I'm glad you never heard. None of you deserved that.' She still couldn't look JJ in the eye. She had never felt this weak before but she knew she needed to do this for JJ.

'You should have told me. I would have been there for you. I'm so sorry.' How had she never noticed what the other woman was going through? How had she been so strong when JJ couldn't help but breakdown.

'You have no need to be sorry. Just being yourself helped me.' For the first time since she had told this secret, she looked up into the eyes of the woman she loved and saw not pity but love. 'Everyday when I would come into the office and you would greet me with the biggest smile it made me smile. You were the only person that could do that for a long time. You treated me like you always had, like everyone else and it made me realise that I was still me. The… rape… it hadn't changed that. You helped me more than you will ever understand'. She smiled to herself because she knew every word that she had said had been true. Loving JJ is what had kept her sane for months. They both sat there in silence for what seemed like ages just looking into each other's eyes before JJ took a quick glance away to look at the clock.

'We should probably leave now, I've got to be at the doctor's in about half an hour' She looked meekly away. 'Is it still ok if….you come with me?' Emily could have almost laughed at the worry in her voice but she didn't.

'Of cause I'm coming with you. Please stop worrying. I'm going to be here with you every step of the way. I've only just got you, don't think I'm going away for even one second' She offered her most honest smile to the blonde and moved to get up and get ready to go. After grabbing their bags and anything else they needed Emily reached for JJ's hand, met with surprise but not reluctance, and lead her down to the car.


End file.
